I practically stormed back into my house tonight. I have night duty where I am required to supervise between the hours of 5 – 9pm to make sure that everything runs smoothly during dinner and evening preps. This is rotated between all the teachers who live on or near the school compound. It usually isn’t that much of a bother but something shattered inside of me tonight.
I was standing at the teacher’s desk in Class 6, answering a constant stream of questions from inquisitive minds. Their homework assignment from me, was to write two sentences for the six of the 19 assigned vocabulary words. It doesn’t even faze me any more that I am almost always the only one assigning homework assignments but that doesn’t mean it doesn’t bother me any less than the first day I set foot on this school’s grounds. Anyway, as I was answering the constant stream of questions I began to feel stressed out. (Honestly, I don’t know who wouldn’t with at least 6 of 14 hands waving at you frantically for attention to answer a question at all times with the weight of trying to play catch-up with all that they’ve missed through the years.) It reached a point where I was simply answering questions clockwise around the room, regardless of whether someone at the far right waved at me first over the person who is sitting next to the person whose question I am currently answering. At this point, a girl at the far right side of the classroom started screaming for my attention (and they KNOW I can hear shouts and screams). I kept signing ‘wait, wait!’ but she would not let up. Right then and there, I absolutely lost hold of my patience and turned my entire being towards her and asked her if she thought she was the most important thing in the world that I should answer her question over everyone else’s. As I unleashed the harsh words, I wish I could have taken them back. Soy un perdedor. I literally saw her eyes sink in regret for not having patience and I’m pretty sure she saw my eyes sink just as hers did for losing my patience. I witnessed a fine example of what happens when you scold a person that has much respect for you. I never see the children react the way some of the children (whom I know has respect for me) do to me when the other teachers are telling them what to do.
This prompted me to confiscate any and all rods (used for caning) and I broke them right in front of the students. Some praised me whilst others simply shook their heads because they knew that tomorrow brings a new day where teachers can simply walk down to the carpenter’s and pick up stray wooden rods to use to perpetuate their old ways. I think I should also mention here that their old ways are also ILLEGAL according to the new constitution, implemented in Kenya just last year.
I’m drained emotionally at the moment. I’m extremely happy that I, at least, achieved the monumental task of replacing my butane tank (for cooking). The tank weighs 13kg empty (26lbs) and nearly 27kg when full (54lbs) and has lasted me the past seven months. I look forward to whatever culinary delights the butane tank will assist with in the coming seven months.
Signing off.