Machakos, Szerbus!

The day has come. This morning, as I took my last looks at the family and home that housed me for the past two months, I walked down the dirt driveway for the last time as a Peace Corps Trainee.

I have hit, oddly, my highest high and lowest low within the past 3 days. On Thursday, we had our final PST evaluations. As I was filling the forms out, I was overwhelmed with doubt in my ability to serve the next two years as a Peace Corps Volunteer. On the last page, it asked “Are you ready to serve 2 years as a Peace Corps Volunteer?” Such a finite answer. Below was a line for my signature. I felt as if I was signing my soul away to some entity (or the US and Kenyan Governments, rather) and there would be nothing I can do about it until I completed my service in 2012. Of course I signed the paper. After I left the hall, I started thinking about all the possible things that could happen – would I be unhappy, robbed, lonely, go crazy? The list goes on. I got home and decided to put off the thoughts until the next day. Friday morning, I woke up feeling refreshed. It was Host Family Appreciation Day, after all. I felt so good as I was reminded of all the good times I’ve had with my family these past two months. (Wow, has it really been 2 months?) After the appreciation, we went back home. I packed like mad all afternoon into the night. I really have brought many unnecessary things. It’s funny what living in a country where clothes are washed by hand does to your conception of clothes and how much of it we need. It wasn’t until this morning right before the PC vehicle came around to pick up my luggage that I was fully packed.

As I checked into the Tea Tot Hotel, I felt my highest high. I am now free of Training and will have my own privacy from here on out. (My family was the best thing I could ask for, don’t get me wrong on that but we Americans do love our privacy ) I hurried up to my room to take my first shower (SHOWER!) in nearly months. Looking back to Thursday, I realized that life is very much like jumping into a swimming pool for me. No one ever knows how the water will feel. Will it be too cold or too hot? During my time at Burbank High School on the Swim Team, I was almost always the last one in the pool. I had a ritual of walking around the pool, hugging myself, trying to coax myself to jump into the water. Over the years, I have realized that it is often better to get a bit of a running start and just jump into the water, much like I did with the Peace Corps.